Kylie Holdem
It's been a while dear friends!
Can we say the last few months have been absolutely wild for all different kinds of reasons. Areas of our life that we've suppressed and hidden coming to the surface to face, shifts in relationship dynamics, very sadly in my experience recent deaths of young ones that still had so much life to give, also our own deaths of areas in our lives that had to die for us to renew and cultivate this new way of being that is coming alive within the collective.
New Years day 1/1/2025 6.35am, I was up before the crows loud raspy caws. Took myself outside with my journals to reflect on 2024 and to map out my 2025. It wasn't until I went back through my phone calendar to Jan 2024 did I remember all of the significant events that have supported my path, until this very mild sunny early Perth morning.
Mid January 2024, I started with Personal Trainer - Rohan Pereira. For the first 6 weeks with him, I was ingesting apple cider and lemon juice with water before I started my day. If you follow my social media accounts, you will know that my physical health and constant struggles with emotional eating since childhood, has been a pattern i had been unable to crack. Safe to say almost one year later, I have unlocked a door!!! I'll tell you I had many, many slip ups along the way, but my whole way of being, my mindset and most importantly my relationship with myself has changed phenomenally. If you know me personally, you will see, feel and experience the shifts that have occurred. This was also my main priority for the year. Rohan has supported in getting me through those walls that I was unable to bulldoze on my own.
February 2024 was when I finally booked in to experience a sound immersion at Cntre Space with Tenille Bentley. Where do I even start with this powerhouse of a woman. Tenille has been on my radar for a number of years. (my personal sound frequency journey began mid 2019) You know what they say "when the student is ready, the teacher appears" This was exactly how it rolled out. My personal experience in Tenille's sound journey was out of this world. I went super deep for some of it and the curious part of me wanted to open my eyes and see everything she was doing. Lol, if you're a soundie you'll know exactly what I mean. From the moment I walked into the room before it started, the vibe, the feeling and then! Listening to her voice guiding us in was, mmm I can't describe it in words. But it's not something I've seen or heard before. I don't go to many other sound meditations/healings as I'm very discerning with where I place my energy. If you haven't been to one or are considering, Tenille is amazing. That's not enough to describe the experience, but it's a full body feeling you can only get with your own felt/lived experience. (Caveat - remember when someone is recommending a service of any kind, it is really important for you to tune into your own inner guidance/ innate intelligence) Same with anyone recommending my services to others, I may not be a fit for you, so listen to your own bodies wisdom) and make your own conscious decision. Either way you learn anyway, but it's a small tip from me that I've learnt on my adventures of life.
More about my journey with Tenille shortly or perhaps in another article depending on how long I go in here.
Late Feb, early March 2024 I connected to two other beautiful humans. Brooke and Conor Sheridan. One of my gifts is "the people person" It comes very naturally to me to talk with almost anyone. Along my individuation process this gift has naturally opened up. The more that I have opened my heart and de-conditioned from my masks and conditioning. I played at a retreat for the incredible Edwina Taylor. Edwina had a team to support her and Brooke was one of her team. Intuitively I knew Brooke was another divine woman who I needed to get to know. I reached out to her via instagram and I think, if my memory serves me well. To do an event. Oh yes, because she is a relationship coach. I had clients reach out to me asking if I could do a singles event with sound! It just so happened when I messaged that she was on holiday in NZ (I had no idea that she was part kiwi) responding for us to pencil in a date to connect when she got back. I then found out that her hubby to be Conor does Men's Work in Scarborough. What a team! We worked together and held a successful singles event in March.
So my point here is, that I had completely forgotten about all of these significant moments that happened earlier in my 2024. I had made so many valuable connections, with so many heart centred humans in Perth. I could only remember much recent events from November - December. Note - It is very valuable to journal and document dates, experiences and feelings, so you can look back on them later. See the challenges and the growth. They are all nuggets of wisdom to share with your own communities when the timing is right! Mine just so happens to have a theme of connecting, but it makes absolute sense as I am a people person. Your significant events will be completely different to me and may also have a theme running through them.
There is one other significant human I would like to mention.
It's not until now that I'm pulling the pieces in to remember how I found her. I was looking for a mentor to help me figure out how to record sound. I had been following an incredible Sound Healer/Musician who at the time I think lived in Hawaii. She played percussion for a symphony orchestra over there and she had a mentorship offering. Being completely transparent here, I am known to be very impulsive. I jump into many different things without thinking or getting over excited about something before doing any research. I have invested over 8K in a Mentor a few short years ago, which wasn't the right fit for me. Because I didn't listen to my inner authority. I went from my logical mind and also listened to other externally. Nothing wrong with the Mentor, it just wasn't a vibrational match for me. I take this experience as an expensive lesson to add to my tool box of wisdom. So because of my previous impulsive investment, I took A LOT more time to research and feel into making the investment. In the end I decided not to go with this mentorship, which also would have been online.
For me, I am a very face to face, 1:1 human. The past mentorship I invested in was online and in a group setting. To be completely selfish, I would rather invest more and get undivided attention for myself. That's what I need and what I figured out as a part of getting to know myself more last year.
In conversation, my genius friend, writer, editor and storyteller, Carmen of Scribe Cartel mentioned to me "why don't you find someone that can mentor you in Perth" That got me thinking of who is an experienced musician, my vibe and is skilled in sound healing. As recording with frequency and the type of instruments that we use have very different requirements when it comes to recording.
May 2024 I don't remember exactly what happened after that but maybe
January Kultura's instagram feed came onto mine somehow. (there are no coincidences)
Funnily enough I met January before I met Tenille (will get to that later)
As I mentioned earlier, I was looking for someone to help me record sound. However, when I started to look into January via her website, something else magical happened instead. For as long as I can remember music, voice and sound has held a very deep space in my heart. As a toddler I remember seeing a picture of me with a mini drum kit for Christmas. My primary teacher used to get me to sing gently into other children's ears and hands for them to hear the notes. I was fascinated by the piano at a family friends house when I was 9, so my beautiful Mum and Dad surprised me with a 2nd hand piano when we lived on the country station in Te Anau, New Zealand. There's so much for me to share around my love of music, voice and sound. I'll get into it again at some stage. But what happened years down the track is that I had an opportunity in my early 20's to play with a well know band in Invercargill, went for a kind of audition. I freaked out and thought I wasn't good enough to play with them and ghosted the man. Wow, I'm reflecting on this now, blows my mind. But that was where I was at, at that time of my life. I completely shut out my passion, love of music and gifts to work a "regular job" This played out for over 20 years! (if you love something so much, please don't ever do that!) But also, it did come back to me in my early 40's and I still feel there are no mistakes, it all happens in divine timing and we have learnt another valuable soul lesson that we don't have to repeat.
After my research I reached out to January via her website. My deep longing to really explore and open up my voice was the real desire here, not the sound recording. Even though I was experienced with my singing voice in ways. When I used it a tiny bit in my sound healing sessions, I knew there was a limitation there. Fear of rejection maybe, even though I know that sound healing is not a performance. Something within myself was holding back. It started from Januarys beautifully written email to me. There was something, a frequency, vibration within her message that spoke to me. I was excited and it was a full body yes to invest in some voice exploration sessions with her. I remember the day I met her, every intricate detail from the moment she greeted me into her space. The sound of her voice, her energy, the way that she guided me. A deep knowing that we had been connected perhaps many lifetimes ago. I was very tentative to use my voice, which to some seems crazy. But for me, expressing has been a life lesson. Not only with singing, but with expressing my needs, speaking up about things that didn't sit well with me, doing things that I didn't really want to do in my life. I wasn't able to do any of these things in earlier decades. And I know that many of you will relate to it now, it's all connected and a part of our individual process.
I could go on and this is the tiniest part of our adventure together so far.
I know that part of the way that I can help shift humanity is through sharing my own stories. If you've read up to here, you will hopefully have found something valuable within this piece of writing and also gotten to know a bit more about me and my journey. I do this to shine a light out to you, which in turn I trust will give you permission to step out from hiding and shine your light to others who need to receive yours.
There won't be so long between blogs next time. Stay tuned beautiful humans.
Sending so much love to you all!
Kylie x
PS - I'm building a like-minded community of women in Perth along with other close connections. If this is something that sparks your interest, follow me on social media @kylie.holdem or jump on my email list to keep up to date with the community building. I don't send out consistent emails yet, so I definitely won't be spamming you daily lol. Once a month at best at this stage :)
